Last night Rosie and I put our babies to sleep at the house in Oxnard, and spent hours keeping our pain at bay until we were tired enough to sleep. I had a dream- the kind of dream you have immediately upon sleeping, that comes on you without preamble.
In my dream, my Grandma lay on the hospital bed that we had seen her breath her last breath, and although she was missing all of the tubes and wires that had been there before, she looked much like those first moments when her heart had stopped. Then, gradually, but rapidly, health and vitality spread through her skin and limbs and she opened her eyes- they twinkled- with purpose and wellness and even joy. She sat up... and I sat up, in bed, thinking, "She's alive again!"
I realized the dream, and went back to sleep, but the dream stayed with me all night, and when I woke up in the morning, my grief was forgotten, for a time, at least, and I know that a miracle had occurred.
I know it, but what I feel is something else.
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2 comments:
Sarah....I don't know you nor you I but I came across your blog and had to say how very sorry I am for your loss of your grandmother. I know it is so hard right now and it feels like it won't get better but it will. It will feel less raw as time goes on. God Bless you and your family. Eva
I too am so sorry for your loss. You write very beautifuly and I could feel you in your writing.
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